Best of Me

This semester got the best of me. In all ways. I got all As, which is lovely. I also didn't write a damn thing that didn't have to do with class (Exhibit A - I started writing this 11 days ago. I will finish before the end of the year.) So, in the non-judgmental spirit with which this blog was conceived, I present my thoughts on how I'd like 2011 to go.

Eleven in 2011!

1. Jam of the week

I have found that when I'm walking around feeling good I tend to have a great song in my head. It provides a soundtrack to life, and keeps one moving at a buoyant pace. In 2011, I will adopt a new energetic awesome song to propel me through the week each week. If you want to know what it is at any given point, just ask.

2. Pin-Up Shoot

This one is already in the works! It's been awhile since I had my pin-ups taken, and it always makes me feel awesome. The photographer is manna sent from retro heaven, check out her work! I bought two single look shoots, and I'm taking the lovely and talented Anna Banana with me to shoot for the day. We will be gorgeous and have lots of fun, all while experiencing a lovely self-esteem boost. 

3. Three NYC Trips

I already started this (because who doesn't want a leg up on the resolutions before the year even starts!) D'Paul and I spent the last two days in NYC. It did not go as planned at all! But we are a scrappy bunch, and we powered through any obstacles (customer service disasters, boots with missing soles in the slushy snow, and a thoroughly frocked schedule) and had fun anyway. I stayed in Maryland for damn near all year and NYC feels like a foreign country at this point. And with a foreign country so close, why shouldn't I visit more often!?! SO. Two more trips before 2011 ends.

4. Monthly real date with D'Paul

I'm in an excellent relationship and things are awesome. Hence, to avoid the creeping onset of complacency that befalls many long term relationships, we will plan at least one official date each month. We go out to eat dinner all the time. We never plan it. I figure, if we plan an adventure for Saturday the Sunday before, we'll have something to look forward to all week long. And I *might* remember to shave my legs. No promises.

5. Do weekly body work (dancing, stretching, yoga, meditation)

I'm laaaaaaazy, and that's bad. I have a reasonably lucky body structure and metabolism; this contributes to the laziness because I don't necessarily gain a thousand pounds when I eat like a mad-woman and lay around after the fact. And, yes, I have to admit, I feel better when I get up and move, after I begrudgingly do so. Therefore, I will dance more (which I like,) stretch more (which feels good regardless,) go to yoga (because it's obviously good for me even if it's THE HARDEST THING EXCEPT FOR RUNNING (which I'll also continue,)) and meditate (because the mind is also part of the body that deserves time and attention.) Bully for me.
 
6. Eat more vegetables

Yes, they are an important food group. No, not just potatoes.

7. Go to the AVAM

I have lived in Baltimore for 10 years (this coming August) and I've never been to the American Visionary Art Museum. It sounds great, and everyone I know loves it. I will go enrich my life. Maybe I can take D'Paul there on a date (and to Little Havana after!) See, everything is already coming together.

8. Dress up and feel hot

I have made great strides in being adorable in the last little bit. I have sexy 1960's Italian film noir femme bangs. I look great when I put forth effort. I should do that more often. It would help if my dear D'Paul loved me less when I have bed head and refuse to put on more than a t-shirt, but alas, he loves me just the same scruffy as beautiful. We all have a cross to bear. I'll just have to work on the superficial stuff on my own.

9. Take an hour, once a week, and clean the apartment (listen to jam of the week?)

My apartment is great! You'd never know it. It's modern but still homey, quite hip, and arranged very tastefully - and if I ever put anything away or vacuumed, you might see that. So, once a week I'll get up early and pick up a little so that cleaning doesn't ever turn into a task that requires bravery and a full day off of work.

10. Record a song

I like to sing. I'm pretty good. I have yet to get into a recording studio and lay anything down that will last forever so that I can show off to the grand-kids. At this point I have some home movies, and a recording of my recitals of questionable quality (the recordings are of questionable quality, not the recitals.) So, since I have a big music project coming up in the next year, I'll save some dollars and buy studio time. Nothing I've ever done requires a lot of musicians. It really should be quite achievable. I just have to freaking DO IT. So, I will.
 
11. Eliminate anything on the list as need be.

I will feel free to eliminate any of this that begins to stress me out. I have no need for that. In 2011 I need to relax and be good to myself. The moment that any of this is working counter to that ultimate goal, it goes away. I'm looking at you vegetables...

Wish Me Luck!

Copycat

Val did it, so I did too. I found out where I should live. Some of it is predictable, some of it is where I actually live, and some of it causes major wtf. Also, Oregon, is really heavily represented in this list. For real, 25% of the places where I'd be happy are in Oregon.

Check out my official list here!

1. Portland, Oregon
2. Hartford, CT
3. Worcester, MA
4. Little Rock, AK <------wtf?
5. Boston, MA
6. Baltimore, MD
7. Providence, RI
8. Medford, OR
9. Salem, OR
10. Honolulu, HI
11. Las Vegan, NE
12. Albuquerque, NM <-------- also, wtf?
13. New Haven, CT
14. Charleston, WV
15. Frederick, MD
16. Washington, D.C.
17. Eugene, OR
18. Corvallis, OR
19. Gaithersburg, MD
20. San Francisco, CA
21. San Jose, CA
22. Bend, OR
23, Danbury, CT
24. Baton Rouge, LA

Recent happenings and an on-going study in my excessive compassion.

A recurring theme in this blog is that I am running short on hours in any given day. I've been saying since July that I'll schedule my nervous breakdown for October because I'm pretty sure I won't have time for it until then. On the plus side, I don't think I'll need a breakdown at this point, but I will definitely be looking forward to the extra time. Here's our wrap up!

1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch opened! We're having great success thus far with two more weekends to run. Baltimore OUTloud gave us a really wonderful review. It isn't online at the moment, so go grab a copy of the paper and check out their praise!

2. I did something stupid, because I have a heart. In the past week I've had two situations test the lengths of my sympathies. One turned out well (as far as I can tell, read on...) and one...well, didn't. This is the one that didn't.

I went to the doctor for my yearly check up, and on my way in a black Ford Fusion backed up into me in the garage at Mercy. A girl got out of the car, she took one look at things and burst into tears. She was about 23 or 24 years old and these weren't regular tears. They were full on panic attack crazy tears. Then she gets her infant out of the backseat, who is also crying. I tried to assure her that I wasn't mad and that we'd get it taken care of. She just kept repeating "He's going to beat me" over and over. It comes out that she doesn't have a license or insurance. She's hysterical. She tells me she just dropped her boyfriend off at the ER and went to park his car. She continues sobbing that he's going to hurt her. I asked her if she needed to look into resources for her safety and she said she couldn't and gestured to the baby. She gave me her name, phone, and email. I also took down the license plate of the car (MD plates 9DJ H21 - let me know if you see it!), which is probably the only smart thing I did that day. I let her go without calling the police.

This is what a $1,261 mistake looks like.

It was stupid and I knew that. I've just researched entirely too much about domestic violence to doubt her situation. A violent boyfriend with a scratched car who is in the ER, combined with a police visit and possible arrest for driving without a license, no insurance, in a car that wasn't hers with an infant could result in the beat down of a lifetime. I saw more fear in her eyes than I've ever seen in anyone in my life.

Of course, she gave a fake email and phone number. I called when I got the estimate and reached a nice man named Wayne who has no children and no black Ford Fusion. The e-mail bounced right away. So, now, I get to report it as a hit and run and her boyfriend will get the police visit. There's still a piece of me that feels bad about calling, but I can't take on her $1200 smash. I'm reasonable. I wanted to make sure no one got hurt. I would have set up a payment plan for her. I would have worked with her to make sure that she was as far from harm as possible, but that possibility has been taken out of my hands.

I don't even know if she was telling the truth about any of it. I will report it because I have to, but it still makes me feel terrible. On to happier topics....

3. Fake Thanksgiving was a success. Recipes are forthcoming (since I'm still doing the dishes) and will be posted here for all to enjoy. I've never thrown a party for so many people but I think everyone had a good time. The food was plentiful, the company was jovial, and the cats were well-behaved. I can't ask for anything more.

And speaking of cats...

4. I rescued another one. I'm not quite ready for my episode of animal hoarders yet, but this MUST be the completion of our feline family. Having three cats doesn't make me completely obnoxious, does it? No, it doesn't. What makes me obnoxious is that my boyfriend also has three cats and someday we intend to combine homes. That is where all the ridiculous obnoxiousness comes in.

I digress.

He looks just like this. You couldn't say no.

So! On the way home from the theatre on Friday night, D'Paul and I see a little baby cat on the sidewalk and he looks like he's about to run into traffic. I panicked and said "No, baby kitty! Come here!" and crouched down and held out my hands. AND HE WALKED OVER TO ME.

This has never happened to me with a stray. Strays are notoriously fearful of me. This little dude, however, came over and heeded my warning not to run into traffic. We examined the kitty and determined that he was probably reasonably healthy, if a bit underweight. The plan was that we would take him to the MDSPCA, but it was night and they were closed. We both knew that we could not a) leave baby kitty here on the street or b) take an unknown disease carrier back to our healthy animals. So we decided to take baby kitty to the vet and get him checked out. This little guy was so easy going. He let D'Paul carry him down a city block and a half right away. D'Paul went into the building to get a carrier and little man and I waited in the vestibule.

I shit you not, within 3 minutes, our new friend had curled up in my lap for a snuggle. When D'Paul came back he looked at the kitten sleeping on me and then looked at me with a face that said "You want to keep him and love him forever, don't you."

No one can keep their hands off this guy!

"I want to keep him and love him forever as long as his health checks out," I said.

If D'Paul was sensible he would have been annoyed at the very least, but his secret delight made itself known when he put the carrier on the ground and teeny little cutie pie got up, walked in, and sat down with a look that said "I suppose I'm going somewhere now."

He was quiet and well behaved in the car on the way to the vet. Once there, he tested negative for feline leukemia and AIDS. He looks to be a healthy 5 or 6 month old kitten. They gave him a bath and clipped his nails. The vet tech said that the dirt just poured off of him in the bath. He has no microchip. After being out on the streets long enough to sustain the cut on his paw and leg, along with all the dirt and the malnutrition I feel no need to look for a prior owner.

Hi! I'm handsome.

He's orange. And wonderful. We got a flea treatment for him, just to be safe. He's also gotten his first round of de-wormer and vaccines. He's been using the litter box for all elimination successfully. So long as he is continuing to show signs of health we can introduce him to the other cats in two weeks, (until then he has his very own apartment in the bathroom!) and in three weeks he goes back for his next round of shots and the obligatory snip snip, or as I've been putting it "to walk away you've gotta leave something behind." Taking that little quote into consideration, along with the following, we found his name. He was found after a performance of Hedwig... between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Clearly he's Jewish.

Clearly, his name is Yitzhak.

Baguette and Nectarines

D'Paul and I took his brother down to the farmer's market this morning. Smoothies and  gorgeous thick cups of chocolate milk were consumed along with freshly fried donuts. This is one of my favorite things to do on Sunday morning. Today I picked up a delicious baguette and some beautiful nectarines. This is what my afternoon looks like:

I've been cooking and focusing on eating a lot lately (even more than usual) for a number of reasons. I've been introduced to my new favorite blog, which makes it impossible to avoid wanting to make delicious food. Rehearsals have also been taking a good bit of time, so when I get a few hours I like to take the time to eat a real meal and get my head on straight. The rehearsal process is going wonderfully, I just have too much on my plate. It's always been this way, and will continue to be until I find a livelihood that is satisfying on a personal level that also pays the bills. This could take awhile...

Back to the food. I just tried this next recipe and you should probably stop whatever you're doing right now and go make this delightful Baked Vanilla Yogurt! It was a hit with everyone, even after an evening of stuffing ourselves full of my wonderful potstickers. I prefer a smoother filling to my potsticker, so when you're looking at the recipe know that I use onion, garlic, and ginger powder instead of actual chopped veggies. It's a personal preference, you should do what sounds delicious to you. I definitely use the cabbage, it's wonderful.

I did my first run yesterday to start my training for the 5k. It went pretty well, and I plan to go back to the gym tomorrow and do another. I will run outside when the weather is more comfortable. I also got my feet and my stride analyzed yesterday. Turns out I have what they call "islands" for feet. It means that my arch is so high that when you take a print of my feet from below you only see the ball and the heel of the foot. I thought I was probably closer to being flat footed since I spend all of my time barefoot or in flats if I can help it. I hate arch supports in shoes, they all feel uncomfortable, which makes D'Paul uncomfortable. He's wildly concerned that without arch supports my arches are going to collapse, but the girl at the store didn't seem bothered by the idea of that happening. Her rational was that I've spent so much time as a dancer that my feet are so strong and so stretched out at this point that I'm unlikely to hurt myself. Just keep stretching...

Then they took an analysis of my running, which was really interesting. I got on their treadmill and ran for about 30 seconds with a camera looking at my feet. I'm almost completely neutral. One side of me (I forget whether it's right or left, don't worry it's written down at home) is perfect and my other side only turns in slightly. I may run reeeeally slowly, but I also run near perfectly. This means that I need a completely neutral shoe. I will probably be investing in new shoes in the coming weeks. My current shoes are basically crap and a few years old so they're not doing me any favors.

I finished out my summer semester with an A in my Religion and 20th Century Drama class, so that's wonderful! The course was great and I am taking one with the same professor this fall that I'm looking forward to attending. I've picked up the banned books project again, but with less urgency than before. I'll probably plow through them over the course of the next year. I'm going to try and keep it stress free.

Something Special

Last night was our first stumble through for Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It was also our run for the folks designing the show. I’m having trouble putting into words just how amazing this experience has been so far, and from the looks of things, will continue to be. I almost started to write about the individual talents and energy from the designers, musicians, actors, director, stage manager, and supporting Iron Crows with personal descriptors, but the fact is that it’s unnecessary. EVERYONE who is working on this project is amazingly gifted, enthusiastic, committed, and a consummate professional.


When I think about this show I get a tingly excited feeling in my stomach. I’m not nervous; I know it’s going to be wonderful. This feeling is telling me that we’ve got something really special on our hands, and I am so thankful that I’m a part of it. Get your tickets now. This is not to be missed.

UPDATE

Here are some beautiful rehearsal photos from the designer run, taken by the lovely and talented Katie Ellen Barth.

Procrastination, Pastry, and Pace

I have two papers that are due for my Religion and 20th Century Drama class this Wednesday, so of course I'm choosing to update this instead. I will be brief, for even my procrastination knows that I have limited time between now and Wednesday to work.

I baked a loaf of bread this week. It looked and smelled beautiful. It was boring to eat. D'Paul said to throw out the recipe because it was no knead bread, which he says he doesn't believe in. It just doesn't exist. He's probably right. At least it made my apartment smell like I knew what I was doing.

Fall must be coming because in the last week I've started baking in my spare moments (which are few and far between), along with shopping for sweaters, and now the bread cravings have hit.  I ran to the store before coming to work this morning just to grab a delicious batard to go with my soup. Oh yes, I also made delightful cream of crab and corn chowder. It is thick, creamy, and spicy - and full of crab meat.

The picture here is from the next bread recipe that I plan to try. I will let you know if mine turns out as beautifully as the bread in the picture! I hope so...

I suppose that it's only appropriate to end a carb heavy post with some physically fit news. I plan to run the Baltimore Running Festival 5k this October. I ran it last year, and while I am a trail snail, finishing it (without stopping or walking, no less) was a great feeling of accomplishment. I am fond of feeling greatly accomplished, so if I can get the day off of work I will do it again. Now that I've frittered away 10 minutes of writing time, I should return to my essays. Au Revoir!

Adorable Naivete

Did you know that life gets busy sometimes? I did. And yet, I still took on a 25 books in 25 weeks project. What a silly little lady I was in April. Very cute. Adorable. Failure.

It isn't that I haven't been reading. Oh no, I've been reading; just not the material for the project, because I can't justify more books on top of my in-class reading (I have three plays to read before tomorrow). I'm not abandoning the project. I'm just giving myself a longer time to accomplish it. But you can bet that I'll be ready for Banned Book Week 2011! Watch out, I'm coming for you with some fierce literary analysis.

The purpose of this blog is to remind myself to do new things. Exciting things. Sparkly things. But here's the thing: I've been so busy doing new and exciting things that I haven't had time to write about them! Here's a quick rundown since we last caught up:

1) Life fun! In the last few weeks I've visited the farmer's market, had a wonderful birthday crab feast, visited my hometown to eat everything, introduced my boyfriend to my parents, went roller skating, been a mommy to five cats, learned a show, and made SO MUCH GORGEOUS FOOD! And then...

2) I started my summer class at JHU. Religion and 20th Century Drama. It's fascinating, and my professor is a cute little old man who has somehow maintained a sense of wonder about the world. I love it. I'm also signed up to take his Religions of the Emerging World class this fall. In the next few weeks I will be doing a research project on Eugene O'Neill's Long Day's Journey Into Night which is super excellent because I love that play. The only thing that could stand in my way would be a lack of time due to...

3) Rehearsal! I was cast in one of my favorite plays in a dream role! We start rehearsal this Tuesday for an intensive two-month process wherein I will be working on the role of Yitzhak in Hedwig and the Angry Inch! I'm so excited. I'm off book (I have 3 lines, but a few thousand songs) going into the process, which is very helpful. I can focus on learning to move like a dude. Now, how to work in some research/writing time for the project for class...I know!

4) I'll do the work at my 2nd job at the radio station. I DJ every Sunday, and it's a five hour shift where I'm by myself. I should be able to get some things finished, if I don't choose procrastination and write a blog instead. For example, I should really be reading Ionesco's Rhinoceros right now. Le sigh...One always wants what one cannot have. You see, yesterday I really wanted to read Rhinoceros, but I couldn't because...

5) I was at work all day, where my position has changed. I was promoted to Regional Leasing Specialist on the Corporate Marketing Team! It's an exciting change, and during the one day I've floated so far I really felt like I was doing something worthwhile. Sadly, I'm stuck at the community where I've spent the last year until we get the new gal up to speed. I'll really start moving around after August ends. It'll be cool to learn a new job that caters to my strengths. So, that'll be happening hard core in September, which is also when...

6) Hedwig... opens for a four week run! Four shows a week! Two jobs! Two Grad classes at JHU!

I'm scheduling a nervous breakdown for October.

A long overdue update on all the things in my world!

Life has gotten a little out of control in the last few weeks (I thought after the semester ended things were supposed to calm down...), so I've been off being fearless without sharing. Apologies! Rest assured, all projects are moving forward.

Update on the Banned Books Project:

I have read six out of the twenty-five books so far. That is 24%, which isn't bad, but also isn't as far along as I wanted to be by this point. Time to kick it into high gear! Since my last update I've read Forever by Judy Blume, The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Patterson, and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.

A quick word about Of Mice and Men: it's an easy book, but it's not an easy book. It's about a hundred pages, and the narrative isn't filled with huge words; you can read it in about an hour or an hour and a half. The hard thing about this book (which I suspect may be the reason why it's still the #1 banned book in the country) is EVERYTHING ELSE. The plot, which you already know when you pick it up, is heartbreaking. You forgot about that though. You let the book become reduced down to a joke about wanting to tend the rabbits. You forgot what happens, and then three pages into the story you remember. You know, it's the only way this tale can end, and the dread of the ending sticks to you through every page.

Another project I started about a year ago and then abandoned is on my radar again. Last June I bought the world's most beautiful acoustic guitar. It has a big body (think Emmylou Harris' guitar) and is colored dark maroon with a little black on it. It's seen a bit of wear prior to getting to me, but I don't care. I love it, and it's gorgeous. It sounds great when played by someone who knows what he's doing. Sadly, that person who knows how to play is not me. I started lessons last year for a few months. A few thousand factors came into play that didn't facilitate my learning how to play my beloved new toy. On the plus side, none of these factors included an unwillingness to practice, develop the proper calluses, or cut my nails. I didn't click with my teacher, lessons are expensive, and I was going through a major personal struggle at the time. Well, it's been a year now and I think it's time to put down the excuses, pick up the guitar, and learn a little bit. I'm a musician, and a multi-instrumentalist at that, but the guitar is a whole different kind of animal from anything in my comfort zone and I'll tell you why. I play the flute, the piccolo, the bari sax, and I sing. What do all of these instruments have in common? They all deal solely in single notes. You cannot play two notes on a woodwind or sing two notes at the same time. No chords.

Guess what I struggle the most with as a musician? Theory! The way music is put together! Harmonics and chords! All you do on a guitar! I am not a proficient piano player. I can teach myself any melody line that I need, and I can easily warm up a choir. I even play a few scales, but that is where it ends. My mind shorts out when I have to think of music in terms of chords. I do not write my own music (anymore - because I was TERRIBLE, probably because I had no understanding of musical construction). A whole bunch of studies say that learning music makes children more proficient at math, a subject with which I also struggle. I never developed that thing that allows one to make sense of these complex systems of organization. See? I can't do math. I can't handle chords. It all comes full circle! Like a circle of fifths!

Which I CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND.

For anyone who didn't get that joke (what joke?) it was for all the music nerds out there, and you should just ignore my awful sense of humor and keep reading. Unnecessarily long rant short: Chords are hard for me. Really hard. My last instructor didn't care and tried to teach me the construction of everything I was doing. I didn't understand. I got uber-frustrated. It was expensive. So, I quit. I recognize at the start of this project that I am never going to set the guitar world on fire, and I am completely accepting of that limitation. I am setting out to learn a handful of chords so that I can sit around my backyard someday with a guitar, a glass of lemonade, and play old rock songs while we barbecue. That's all. I've found a teacher (quite the handsome devil, too) who can already sit around and play old rock songs, who is willing to teach me without all the fuss. It's my boyfriend, D'Paul. He's wonderful and (most importantly) extra patient so I'm prepared to give it another go. Wish me luck!

There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. - Ray Bradbury

I have been reading, ladies and gentlemen!

It is wonderful. For the past few years I've been one of those people who only reads three or four substantial books a year, and that's it. Life is too busy with work, school, outside activities, relationships, pets, friends, and of course, TV. All excuses that keep me from being the voracious reader that I was as a child.

All that is no more. Somehow, I've been able to attend to all of my commitments and still finish a few books for the project. I'm still going to hold the release of all the essays until Banned Book Week, but I am not going to be able to keep my lips sealed about what has been on my radar until then.

So far, I've read And Tango Makes Three, Are You There, God? It's Me Margaret, and Fahrenheit 451.

I love this project. And Ray Bradbury is a genius. More about that in a moment.

And Tango Makes Three

What a great book! As you can clearly see by the cover art, we are dealing with highly subversive subject matter here. Certainly not a book about a sweet baby penguin, and the parents who love her very much.

I want to adapt this into either a staged reading, or a play and see if there's some room for mind opening in Baltimore. I borrowed a copy of this from the library, but it's clear that I must own it. So, once my very own copy arrives in the mail I'll start in on Banned Books Week Sub-Project: Gain acceptance for adorable cute little baby penguin chicks who just happen to have two daddies.

All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Now, onto the other books: Are You There, God It's Me Margaret? This book is banned? Seriously? This one was the title that I looked forward to re-visiting the most in my list, because it was essentially my bible in Middle and some of High School. I thought I had it memorized, but all those readings way back when didn't allow me the understanding that a few years has given me. Margaret's grandmother, Sylvia is 60 years old. That's all. In my mind she was an old lady. A grandma. She knitted sweaters for Margaret, which clearly made her ancient. Now, at the ripe old age of 26, my friends knit (amazingly, btw) and sixty doesn't seem so old at all. One of the plays I was just involved with included a woman who was of that age who is one of the most intelligent, gorgeous, poised women I have ever ever met. I would go to synagogue and Lincoln Center with her in a heartbeat if she was my grandma. I didn't get that 60 could also be vivacious back then.

Also, Margaret's family starts the book out with a move from NYC to New Jersey. That never meant anything to me before. They were just places. Sure, her parents talked about gardening, which they never had to do in NYC. I had been to NYC on a number of occasions, but my favorite place there (still, to this day) is Chinatown and Margaret never mentioned Chinatown. Therefore, as far as I was concerned she lived in a house exactly like I did, on a street just like mine, in NYC. Then (because I am the center of my own universe) she moved to a house like mine, in a new place, that just happened to be New Jersey. Would you also believe that no one in the book mentioned poofs, tanning, or any kinds of Situations, it was so weird! She didn't move to Jersey, the stereotype, she just moved.

I think one BIG thing that I've taken away from just these few books has been that it's imperative to take into consideration when a book was written and what was going on in the world. For Are You There... it's invaluable to know that it's the year 1970 (because you really wouldn't know from the text - Judy Blume's writing is universally accessible and timeless) to understand why it's such a huge issue for Margaret's parents to be of differing religious backgrounds. They got married in the 1950's and as a result only one set of parents accepted their relationship. Margaret's maternal grandparents disowned her mother. When you read that today you immediately assume that they're two religious zealot wackos, which is only a little true. The important part to realize is that they were born in the very early 20th century, when you just didn't mix those traditions. Hell, my maternal grandparents were Catholic and Presbyterian and that degree of religious difference had to be addressed very delicately prior to their wedding in 1947. Thank heavens for progress.

I realize that my personal love for young adult fiction and children's books may not translate to all adults (specifically those who have lost their childlike sense of whimsy and wonder), so it's on to a book for an older crowd. I put Fahrenheit 451 on this list because you have to include it in any discussion of censorship, you just have to. I think I might have read this in the 7th grade. I know we watched the film that year in English class. Oh, the irony of watching a film about the dumbing down of a culture that watches TV all day while books are banned in an ENGLISH CLASS.

Brilliant.

Whether or not I've read this before is irrelevant. I needed to read it again. I've spent the last few evenings with this book (maybe 30 minutes to an hour at a time) with tears streaming down my face for the better part of my leisure time. It's beautiful and horrific, and it gets right to the heart of the matter. I was grabbed by the violent disregard for human life, the plastic people, and the passionate awakening of our protagonist. I was also proud that the first person Guy approaches for help was a former professor of English at a now shuttered Liberal Arts college. Yea Liberal Arts! This book shivers with humanity, and demands your attention. I'd forgotten how Bradbury can do that. In sixth grade we read his short story All Summer In a Day and the impact of that brief story has never left me. You can read it online in a few minutes. I understand that Fahrenheit 451 creates a strong emotional reaction in its reader, and that that can be disturbing for some. That's no reason to ban it.

I've learned some interesting things while addressing this title. One of the things that amazes me is that people have tried to present this book in an edited, essentially censored format. Bwhaaa? What? How? To edit/censor it you have to have read it, and if you've read it and still feel the need to censor it, then I believe you have missed. the. point. Twenty-one years after the book's initial publication it was to be included in an anthology for school readers with 400 or so stories in the same collection. In the coda to the story (added in 1979) Bradbury writes:

"How do you cram 400 short stories by Twain, Irving, Poe, Maupassant and Bierce into one book?

       

Simplicity itself. Skin, debone, demarrow, scarify, melt, render down and destroy. Every adjective that counted, every verb that moved, every metaphor that weighed more than a mosquito - out! Every simile that would have made a sub-moron's mouth twitch - gone! Any aside that explained the two-bit philosophy of a first-rate writer - lost!

Every story, slenderized, starved, bluepenciled, leeched and bled white, resembled every other story. Twain read like Poe read like Shakespeare read like Dostoevsky read like - in the finale - Edgar Guest. Every word of more than three syllables had been razored. Every image that demanded so much as one instant's attention - shot dead. 

Do you begin to get the damned and incredible picture?

How did I react to all of the above?

By firing the whole lot.

By sending rejection slips to each and every one.

By ticketing the assembly of idiots to the far reaches of hell.

The point is obvious. There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches."

I have a crush on Ray Bradbury right now. The man is astounding. He's really lit a fire under me (pun intended) for this whole project. I'll leave you with one last little tidbit that I find amusing. You're familiar with the saying that one reads Playboy for the articles. Turns out that The Fireman, Bradbury's short story that became Fahrenheit 451 was serialized in the March, April, and May 1954 issues of Playboy magazine. Maybe I should go pick up a copy and educate myself on the next big thing in literature.

The BIG Project

Somehow, a few weeks ago, I started thinking about the books that have been banned, and continue to be challenged in this country. I started doing a little research on the subject and found that many of these books would make my list of most favorite and influential stories (maybe that's the point: people don't want these kinds of clearly subversive books to influence people). I did a little counting and found out that there were exactly 25 weeks until banned book week. So, here's what I'm going to do:

25 Books in 25 Weeks

It's going to be a challenge, but I'm committed, I'm excited, and most importantly: I'm organized. I have the books divided up into categories. On each day of banned book week I'll discuss the books in the category at length, right here. What are the categories? I'm so glad you asked.

Day 1 - September 25th: Banned Books
Today will be my intro to the project. I'll discuss any interesting research I come across that covers why we, in a country that places such a high value on free speech, find ourselves banning books in the first place. The discussion will include a classic book that always seems to cause trouble, a book I'd never heard of before this project started, a book that I love which doesn't strike me as offensive in any way, and two childhood favorites of mine that seem to be banned all over the place, but don't fit neatly into any one category. These books will also be identified by their number on the list of the American Library Association's list of the Top 100 Banned/Challenged Books from 2000 – 2009.

The books covered today will be:

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things – Carolyn Mackler
The Upstairs Room – Johanna Reiss
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain


Day 2 - September 26th: The Classic Banned Books
These are the books that scare people. They are often futuristic, dystopian, and infused with a science fiction tinged atmosphere. Humorously enough, you'll find people on both sides of the political aisle referencing these (most notably, 1984) to help prove their talking points. I've read them all before, but as I'm quickly learning, there is an inherent value in the re-read. I've been amazed at the details that I missed in some of my favorite books the first, second, and  sixty-seventh time through as a younger reader. Now I have a chance to see another level of what is really happening, and what really makes people uncomfortable with these titles.

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
1984 – George Orwell

Day 3 - September 27th: Another Day of Classics
Uh-oh. Sometimes people don't do what we expect, like, or program them to do. It's probably best if we don't let any of the innocents know about all that icky behavior though. It could give them inappropriate ideas...


Rabbit, Run – John Updike
Catcher In The Rye – J.D. Salinger
Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov


Day 4 - September 28th: Gay Day!
You can catch it from them. It's true. Best to keep these titles away from the children. The gays are always trying to snag new recruits with their seductive advantage of having to fend off hate for a lifetime, and a significantly smaller dating pool in which to swim. Ahh, the luxury of a non-majority sexuality...


And Tango Makes Three – Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson
The Drowning of Stephen Jones – Bette Green
The Education of Harriet Hatfield – May Serton
Maurice – E.M. Forster


Day 5 - September 29th: Race Day
Maybe if we ignore it, they I mean, this uncomfortable topic will just go away. By the way, it's interesting to note that when exploring the banned book lists I couldn't find any books that were listed due to racial issues other than those dealing with the African American experience. I've read books where people behave in a racist manner to Chinese people, Jewish people, Indian (native) people, and Korean people. These books haven't made the list though. Why is that? What makes these books so different than the others? Isn't racism to all people something we should be concerned about? Or, as I fear, do the people banning the books have an interest in keeping their children from reading about Black people? Gosh, that might cause some...*gulp*... empathy toward them.


Uncle Tom's Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
The Color Purple – Alice Walker


Day 6 - September 30th: Young Adult Literature
This is a pet day for me. I will just come out and say it: I love young adult literature. I think there is a wealth of wonderful writing available for the middle school/high school age person that is creative, funny, empathetic, and that directly relates to their current world experiences. I worked through a ton of personal issues with books from this genre, and it makes me crazy that these books are being pulled off the shelves in favor of sparkly Mormon vampires.


The Giver – Lois Lowry
The Great Gilly Hopkins – Katherine Patterson
Bridge To Terebithia – Katherine Patterson

Day 7 - October 1st: Young Adult Literature - Judy Blume Day
My mother (who is not a radical in any way) gave me Judy Blume books to read, and BLESS HER for it. If I hadn't had a copy of Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret I wouldn't have made it through middle or high school. She's an amazing writer, and if you think that talking to your kids about religion, sexuality, puberty, masturbation, or death is awkward and uncomfortable then I say to you: read one of her books. Take a breath, and try again. She's got a sensitive, no nonsense approach, and she probably knows what's walking through the mind of the young person in question when these subjects are broached. Why do we take her off the shelves?


Forever – Judy Blume
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret – Judy Blume
Then Again, Maybe I Won't – Judy Blume


Day 8 - October 2nd: Books About Which I Know Nothing
I don't know why these two books are banned. I haven't ever read them. I've been alive long enough to know that Lord of the Flies ends badly, has violent components, and that there's been comparison between the book and what happened in the Stanford Prison Experiment, but other than that I know very little about this title. I know even less about the Faulkner. However, these two books showed up on the lists too many times to be ignored. Let's see what they have to say.


Lord of the Flies – William Golding
As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner


Sooooo, what do you think? Ambitious? Yes. I think so. But I'm very excited by the challenge, and I've already been around to my book shelves gathering up the offending titles and planning out my reading schedule. I've also taken a trip to my local library, and to Borders, where I learned a few things:

 1. Libraries are friendly. They arrange titles by author - alphabetically, and all the books are available in an organized manner, for free, and there are knowledgeable people there to help you.

2. Book stores are less friendly. They organize things by arbitrarily assigned categories. I didn't know that 1984 was a science fiction book, while Brave New World is literature. I also didn't know that Then Again, Maybe I Won't is in the section labeled Independent Reader, while Forever is Young Adult. And now, for optimal confusion, please understand that Are You There God, It's Me Margaret is available in both categories. Of course.

3. The people at Borders hate you.

 See? I've already learned new and wonderful things. I will be making much use of my library card. Let the reading begin!

Last weekend was the closing weekend of In Durang's Shorts, the phenomenal piece of comedic theatre presented by Iron Crow Theatre that took Baltimore by storm! It was a wonderful ride, and we meet tonight to map out our next steps as a theatre company. Get ready world; we will rock you, in a manner similar to Freddie Mercury. In that, we are gay and fabulous. Follow? Excellent. More updates to follow.

Last weekend was also the first three day weekend I've taken in awhile. I don't have much time off, so I tend to save it up. I had a lot of fun on my days off, but I also wasn't terribly smart about how I scheduled them. I never take days off to relax, so what do I do when I finally have a day? I fill it up with activities! On Saturday, we went to the Baltimore National Aquarium to look at the fishies. I haven't been since I was in middle school. It's still really cool, and the shark room still gives me the creeps. It's amazing timing that I had the creepy live shark experience this week, because in the days following I stumbled upon Damien Hirst's The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. Please enjoy:

Or if you prefer, how about this terrifying view?

That's a real tiger shark, preserved in formaldehyde. I think that my recent aquarium visit helped me "get" this piece when I found it this week. I used it in my presentation for my Modern Sculpture class. The artist, Damien Hirst is grouped in with the YBA (Young British Artists). This group also houses Sarah Lucas, a very cool artist, who was the focus of my presentation. I will be sure to go on about her at length in a future post.

After my day at the aquarium, we closed the show. On Sunday morning I participated in the MDSPCA's March For The Animals! D'Paul, Anna, and I had a great time marching as a pack.

I loved that the SPCA put the pack names on the shirts this year, so everyone knew that we were named The Cat's Pajamas! I'm a cat mom, but also an equal opportunity animal lover so it was great to see all the adorable pooches at the walk. Someday, when I have a house and a yard I will have a pug. I'm a teensy bit obsessed with them, so it's always a thrill when I meet one in person who is happy to meet me too. Check out my new friend! We played and snuggled for awhile. It was wonderful, and I promise I didn't steal him and take him home. Although who would blame me? We have the same smile!

I'm about to start a very sizable project, and I'll be announcing it in the coming days. It's pretty ambitious, but very exciting. I think it certainly goes along with my intentions to tackle new things and share them with the interwebs. Be on the lookout for a very cool, if not very nerdy announcement from me this week!

Kitten Karma

Do something good for an animal today! Donate to my pack for the Maryland SPCA's 2010 March for the Animals! We march this Sunday at the park, but there is still plenty of time to donate.

What Your Gift Does:
- $11 pays for one feline leukemia test

- $25 vaccinates 20 dogs for kennel cough

- $43 provides flea treatment and heartworm protection for a dog

- $100 spay surgery for a cat

- $300 pays for an animal’s care at our adoption center until it is adopted.This includes vaccinations, spay/neuter surgery, food, and care.

My cat Diva was cared for by amazing people at the MDSPCA prior to her adoption. Bobby certainly would have ended up there if I hadn't gotten to him first. D'Paul just adopted his very first cat from the MDSPCA, and she's an immediately wonderful addition to his life. For us, the cats are dearly loved members of the family, and I couldn't be happier to donate my time and my dollars to this wonderful cause!

In conclusion - pets are wonderful and should be cared for when they're in need. Your gift could save a life while some cute little fuzzy is waiting for his forever home. Donate today!

The management wishes to apologize for the obnoxious act of making every link on this post take you straight to the donation page. Subtlety is not our strong suit.

Bhatratnatyam Boogie

I took my first classical Indian dance lesson on Monday, and it was really cool! And really hard! On Facebook there were approximately 30 people interested in taking the classes. So, of course, when I got there there was 1 person. Me! But I remained fearless, or at the very least, jovial. At the beginning and end of every session the group performs a prayer with movement that shows their respect for the floor and the space that they're working in, and it reminded me of theatre classes I've taken where we talked about monks who clean the floor and pray before and after they meditate and work in a space to show respect for it. Centering and mindful - I like it.

I have a ton of dance experience and none of it came in handy. I've got rhythm and I'm a little limber, but beyond that ballet wasn't a big assistant to me. There is lifting of the foot that you have all your weight held on, and holy sacred cow, is the tempo fast! The hands are really beautiful and watching the girls do them was so cool. My brain has a hard time making them happen as fast as they need to. I think I did better with the feet.

I'm looking forward to going back next week and learning more. The very patient and encouraging ladies who were teaching me said that this week was just a tough week for scheduling and that there would be more people next time. They were so sweet, and they never stopped smiling at me or telling me that I was moving at a good speed, even when I got frustrated. So, I am looking forward to next week when I have an hour of experience on the new newbies!

My thighs are killing me in a way that lets me know I'm getting hotter. Perhaps this will become a regular activity for me and my workout...although I'm certain I won't be asked to join the troupe anytime soon. So far I give it two big, and super respectful, thumbs up. It is awesome, and it is HARD.

Many New Things

I am an actor, student, corporate grunt, girlfriend, LGBTQ activist, and all-around eclectic individual. In the last few weeks I've found my way to the completely un-unique idea that making a conscious effort to expand my limits could be very valuable. This notion probably began when I started the first two classes at JHU for my Master of Liberal Arts degree. I'm studying Indigenous Cultures, and Modern Sculpture - both of which are way outside my realm of expertise. In this same semester, a theatre group to which I belong rehearsed and opened our first show, a comedy - which is also not my area of greatest comfort as an actor.

QUICK PLUG - We're Iron Crow Theatre and, frankly, we are incredible. Three more chances to see our inaugural showing of In Durang's Shorts!

Back to me. I'm looking for things to do that will either:

A) Take me beyond my immediate comfort range or level of expertise.

or

B) Improve the rest of the world, score a few karma points, or inspire useful thoughts.

That should be easy! Right? I intend to be fearless (hence the name of the blog), until I become wildly afraid. I begin tonight with dance lessons, but not just any dance lessons. I'm taking a series of Bhatratnatyam dance lessons through JHU. Wish me luck! I'm going to need it...